On Change, Loss, and Growing Apart


We lose people frequently as the years go by. Our group of friends begins to change like the seasons. There’s the true few who will always be there, but for the most part, many people end up drifting out of our lives. The same is true of relationships… at least until you find the one.

These losses happen all the time, and for many different reasons. One big one (at least in my experience) is when people move away. True friendship and love can withstand distance, but it’s tough to keep the spirit alive after long periods of time apart.

In other situations, people fight and never find the courage to initiate forgiveness. The rift between them grows so large that it becomes too much work to repair it. They let the friendship disintegrate, until they no longer know who that person is anymore.

As I continue to grow and learn, I’m experiencing a new kind of loss more frequently. People are starting to slowly evaporate from my life because we are no longer one in the same.

I start to feel this growing sense of distance. We were originally brought together because we had the same views, interests, and hobbies. Then, this strange thing happens, and it happens often.

People change, and then you grow apart.

These changes can be both painful and liberating. It’s painful because you can feel yourself losing someone you cared about. The person we once thought we could count on begins to dissolve into someone untrustworthy. It could be you that changed, or the other person who started behaving differently. Either way, the changes are enough to cause you to drift apart.

Lately, I’ve stopped focusing on the painful aspects of this, like losing someone who once knew you so well. Instead, I’ve figured out what’s liberating about growing apart from people.

When you let one person go, it makes room for others to enter your life. By growing apart, you allow yourself the opportunity to be surrounded by likeminded people.

Being around people with the same views is more inspiring than you can imagine. It opens up new avenues to follow your dreams. It allows you to grow as an individual. You’re free to evolve with new people, instead of being stuck in the same ruts. Instead of sticking to comfort and familiarity, you allow yourself to expand into new horizons.

I’m not saying that I think you should disown your friends or your partner. If you have someone that you can relate to on all levels, enjoy them to the fullest.  I also don’t think you should ever forget the memories you had with those special people in the past.

What I’m saying is that if you start to  feel   the    distance     growing, don’t be afraid to let it go. The loss is only occurring to make room in your life, room for the people out there who have evolved just like you have. You never know when the next door could open, and that new friend or partner could completely change your life. For the better, of course.

Leave a comment here with your thoughts.


10 thoughts on “On Change, Loss, and Growing Apart

  1. Beautifully written. I think everyone has experienced this at some point. Sometimes it’s hard to accept that people and situations change, but you are right, sometimes it’s for the better!

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