Don’t be Afraid to be Selfish


Being selfish is typically a negative act. It’s defined as “lacking consideration for others; being concerned chiefly with ones own personal profit or pleasure.” This negative connotation has caused selfish behavior to be frowned upon. You might think to yourself, why would someone want to be a selfish person? Selfish people don’t care about anyone but themselves.

I want to put a spin on things. I want to tell you why being selfish is the only way you should be.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think you should ever be harmful or hurtful to others. I don’t believe in stepping on other people’s toes to fulfill your own needs, either. What I do believe is that we should always be compassionate to others, even the least deserving.

But in your compassion, never forget that you come first.

Here’s why:

1. The only life that you have control over is your own.
When it comes to your life, you are in the driver’s seat. You control which way to turn the wheel. You decide when it’s time to hit the gas, and also when it’s time to slam on the brakes. There will be times when the driver’s around you are driving recklessly. Not everyone realizes that they are the ones in charge of the wheel, but  sadly, you have no control over them.

We can do everything in our power to create a better life for others, but what they do with those resources is ultimately their choice. They decide how to behave and react. It’s not our opinion that matters, it’s their own. There comes a time when we should be selfish and act for ourselves. In the end, that’s all we have the power to do.

2. If you don’t care passionately about your own life, who will?
The above definition of selfish states “being concerned chiefly with ones own personal profit or pleasure.” If this is the way you behave, you should be proud of it. No one else is going to create profit or pleasure for you. No one else even concerns themselves with your profit or pleasure, aside from very valuable loved ones.

Being selfish, in my view, just means that you only concern yourself with your own life. This doesn’t mean that other people’s profit or pleasure should make you unhappy. It should make you thrilled that they had the strength to pursue their own desires. But we shouldn’t concern ourselves with their lives, only with our own.

So, I challenge you. Don’t be afraid to be selfish. Don’t let the negative connotation drive you away from caring passionately about yourself.


Do you agree with me? Do you disagree completely? Leave a comment, and let me hear your thoughts.




2 thoughts on “Don’t be Afraid to be Selfish

  1. Working for years with people I can see that equally putting self higher or lower than others makes us unhappy. We are One and when we are honest to self, when we follow what serves us (not what we just want), we choose what serves others (what doesn’t mean they like it at this moment). So yes, I agree we should focus on our own feelings, on understanding and fulfilling ourselves – but always in the context of others, never beyond it. (More explaining you may find in “Love means we are equal” by Alootka)
    I like your writing :) Have a good day!

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